Dec 19th 2005-
A day of remembrance, a day of sorrow. A day when we lost our precious friend-Laxman. A friend who has been so close to us in such a short time. A gang of 5-we all used to go together wherever we go. But now when we all meet again we still miss the fifth person(Laxman).
One Question that still haunts me, One question which has been through my entire life , One Question.. "Why does it happens to me? Why?"
I don't know..I lost every one who has been so close to me. Laxman who has been with all of us , who has been making fun of me and the very next second the clouds of sorrow has covered all of us. He was lying there in front of my eyes. I tried a lot to wake him up..I cried, I shouted asking for help but..it was too late. Tears coming out of my eyes. Rahul, I still remember how hard his feelings are..
Life has been so hard for me.. So hard to see death so near for the 3rd time in my life... Feelings that cannot be expressed. 3times in my 4 years.. Imagine how hard it is...
"Wherever you are...you are still in our hearts,right here...You are still alive in all our hearts..."
We miss you-Laxman
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
Everything on the line(part III)
There is only thought that has been wandering in my mind..What's going to happen when I get in? I could feel my heart beating very fast. I was nervous,very nervous. Whatever is going to happen will happen even how hard we try to stop it. I took a deep breathe and knocked the door. I heard a voice "come in."
What took you so long?
Sir,actually...I was looking at...
Stop it..now don't act smart..This is 5th time in 2 weeks that you have been so late to the office. What kind of Excuse do you have now.
Sir, My lift was under repair and when I walked down all 21 floors, I realized that I forgot my car keys in the room...and so I had to take a bus and come..I am really sorry. This won't be repeated again...
What kind of nerd you are?Do you think I look funny. Next time If I ever see you coming late to the office, you will be fired.. Now get back to work and I need the documentation ready by afternoon.
But,sir..
Do what I say..
I went back to my desk and opened all kind of tools required to test the software and noted down the results. I called jack and asked him to send the code that he has written. Lots of errors, and lot of work for me as I have to note down every error. Why does they all have errors and bugs. When these bugs are solved some new kind of bugs come out and when those are solved some more come out...There is no end to it.. This reminds me of the life cycle that we have learned in school..Herbivores eats plants..carnivores eats herbivores...and this cycle repeats...
I came to know that boss is in a conference and it takes 3 more hours to come out. There was some kind of relief on everybody's face. we got 3 more extra hours to complete our work. We had our lunch,then ordered for a cup of coffee which has become a part of our life and which boosts our energy. 2 1/2 hours more left and we started working and tried to complete it as fast as possible. Everything was almost done. The final editing is left. I felt there was no sign of any mistakes in the report. I got a call from the boss again...I guess this time its not for giving a big lecture...
"John, I need you in conference room."
" I am coming sir.."
"And is that document completed..almost done sir..."
"Ok..I will give you 10 more minutes..Come along with the document"
"ok..sir"
Now, Why did he called me to come to the conference room..??
Note:Keep thinking....continued...
What took you so long?
Sir,actually...I was looking at...
Stop it..now don't act smart..This is 5th time in 2 weeks that you have been so late to the office. What kind of Excuse do you have now.
Sir, My lift was under repair and when I walked down all 21 floors, I realized that I forgot my car keys in the room...and so I had to take a bus and come..I am really sorry. This won't be repeated again...
What kind of nerd you are?Do you think I look funny. Next time If I ever see you coming late to the office, you will be fired.. Now get back to work and I need the documentation ready by afternoon.
But,sir..
Do what I say..
I went back to my desk and opened all kind of tools required to test the software and noted down the results. I called jack and asked him to send the code that he has written. Lots of errors, and lot of work for me as I have to note down every error. Why does they all have errors and bugs. When these bugs are solved some new kind of bugs come out and when those are solved some more come out...There is no end to it.. This reminds me of the life cycle that we have learned in school..Herbivores eats plants..carnivores eats herbivores...and this cycle repeats...
I came to know that boss is in a conference and it takes 3 more hours to come out. There was some kind of relief on everybody's face. we got 3 more extra hours to complete our work. We had our lunch,then ordered for a cup of coffee which has become a part of our life and which boosts our energy. 2 1/2 hours more left and we started working and tried to complete it as fast as possible. Everything was almost done. The final editing is left. I felt there was no sign of any mistakes in the report. I got a call from the boss again...I guess this time its not for giving a big lecture...
"John, I need you in conference room."
" I am coming sir.."
"And is that document completed..almost done sir..."
"Ok..I will give you 10 more minutes..Come along with the document"
"ok..sir"
Now, Why did he called me to come to the conference room..??
Note:Keep thinking....continued...
Sunday, December 3, 2006
Everything on the Line(part II)
Next day morning, When I woke up the only scene in front of my eyes : the whole coffee spilled all around the table. " Oh! No.. I almost forgot to drink the coffee. Now I have to clean this all and looked at the watch. Its almost 8:00 AM. Oh My God, I have to be in office by 9:00 AM, today I am going to have a hard time with my boss and rushed into the bathroom and turned on the tap. To my surprise, there is no water coming out. That reminded me of what I forgot" I forgot to turn on the tap in the morning to fill my tank". I came out took out a bottle of water from refrigerator and went to kitchen and made some coffee and ran back to my dressing room and opened my closet.
Its almost empty. That reminded me again of something which I forgot. " I almost forgot to pick up my clothes yesterday evening which I gave for laundry". I think today will be a worst day in my life. There was no other option. I took out my shirt and pant and ironed them and wore them and took my bag, came out of my room, locked the room and was surprised when I saw the note sticked to the elevator. "Elevator under repair.. Sorry for inconvenience". Now I had to walk down 21 floors and finally I reached my car and searched for my car keys in my pockets. " Where are the keys? It has to be somewhere here in my pockets and It was too late for me to realize that I forgot them in my room. "
I ran to a stop, waiting for a bus that takes me to my office. Its been almost 15 minutes, and I couldn't find any sign of the bus that goes to my office. Finally, I reached my office and looked at the clock, " I am late again. I don't know what is going to happen today. I hop that my project Manager doesn't fire me". Then there was a voice from behind. It was the voice of the receptionist. Boss is here and he has called you in his office." damn... now this is really bad and when I looked at the notice board, I stood still and my face went pale. The deadline of the project is changed again. " There was only one thing in my mind. "what happens to all these project Managers? Why the hell do they change these deadlines? I wish I was a PM and all these are my employees". I went to the coffee machine and reached my chair switched on my computer. Even before my computer loads, I received a call from my boss. "I need you immediately in my office, right now, do it fast." I don't know what's going to happen.
Note: Continued part III later....
Its almost empty. That reminded me again of something which I forgot. " I almost forgot to pick up my clothes yesterday evening which I gave for laundry". I think today will be a worst day in my life. There was no other option. I took out my shirt and pant and ironed them and wore them and took my bag, came out of my room, locked the room and was surprised when I saw the note sticked to the elevator. "Elevator under repair.. Sorry for inconvenience". Now I had to walk down 21 floors and finally I reached my car and searched for my car keys in my pockets. " Where are the keys? It has to be somewhere here in my pockets and It was too late for me to realize that I forgot them in my room. "
I ran to a stop, waiting for a bus that takes me to my office. Its been almost 15 minutes, and I couldn't find any sign of the bus that goes to my office. Finally, I reached my office and looked at the clock, " I am late again. I don't know what is going to happen today. I hop that my project Manager doesn't fire me". Then there was a voice from behind. It was the voice of the receptionist. Boss is here and he has called you in his office." damn... now this is really bad and when I looked at the notice board, I stood still and my face went pale. The deadline of the project is changed again. " There was only one thing in my mind. "what happens to all these project Managers? Why the hell do they change these deadlines? I wish I was a PM and all these are my employees". I went to the coffee machine and reached my chair switched on my computer. Even before my computer loads, I received a call from my boss. "I need you immediately in my office, right now, do it fast." I don't know what's going to happen.
Note: Continued part III later....
Saturday, December 2, 2006
Everything on the Line(part I)
Well I think most of you might ask a question what does the name of the topic means?
What does "everything on the line" mean? Well, It means a lot. Let's just take an example of John Adams who has been working in a software industry from past 3 1/2 years and has been very successful. His story was something different. It goes like this,,
Someday, somewhere down the line in a closed room on the top floor of an apartment holding a cup of coffee( Yeah, I know too much coffee is not good for health), all I could see was the light of every house going down, but find a few lights glowing. Well , there are a few people like me waking up all the night trying to complete the work that was assigned to them but finally end up doing nothing.
And this reminded me of the work that I have to do. I sat back in my chair, took my bag and tried to search for the document that was give to me by my Project Manager.
"I know, I know,Its here somewhere,Oh.. my bag full of trash. huh.. and finally I got that document. Well, looking at that document in a first glance reminded me of my history book. I opened the document and took a sip of coffee and that was my last sip. I felt like" Oh.. now I need to make one more coffee to wake me up a little more time and took that document along with me into my kitchen and started making coffee. I was trying to understand , poured coffee in my cup and went back to my chair. I sat in my chair and started reading the document. I felt like its something which is not English. I was trying to understand but my eyes are not supporting me. I finally closed the document and felt " Finally, This is what happens.(end up doing nothing)" .
I sat in my chair in a more relaxed way and bent my head back and looked at the clock "Its almost 2:00 AM and I haven't done anything yet. Let it be, I will try to get some time in office". There are a lot of questions going on in my mind at that time, which have no answers, which has been through many other people out there like me. " Is this what we always wanted to be?" "Is this the kind of life that we wanted to live? waking up late nights ?putting an end to enjoyment and trying to work for money sacrificing your satisfaction? But, there is no other choice, no one needs whether you are satisifed or not, the only thing that matters is whether you have done your work or not? This really reminds me of my school days where you are punished of not doing your home work. "
one thing now I really feel is " I wish someone comes in my life who encourages me, who boosts my confidence, who helps me and hold my hand together when I find that I am getting down. "the one who sow the seed of confidence and make my tree of life bloom with flowers of hope and fruits of success. I hope that day isn't far". I dont even know when I finally slept.
NOTE: This is just a part of it. I am going to continue it.
What does "everything on the line" mean? Well, It means a lot. Let's just take an example of John Adams who has been working in a software industry from past 3 1/2 years and has been very successful. His story was something different. It goes like this,,
Someday, somewhere down the line in a closed room on the top floor of an apartment holding a cup of coffee( Yeah, I know too much coffee is not good for health), all I could see was the light of every house going down, but find a few lights glowing. Well , there are a few people like me waking up all the night trying to complete the work that was assigned to them but finally end up doing nothing.
And this reminded me of the work that I have to do. I sat back in my chair, took my bag and tried to search for the document that was give to me by my Project Manager.
"I know, I know,Its here somewhere,Oh.. my bag full of trash. huh.. and finally I got that document. Well, looking at that document in a first glance reminded me of my history book. I opened the document and took a sip of coffee and that was my last sip. I felt like" Oh.. now I need to make one more coffee to wake me up a little more time and took that document along with me into my kitchen and started making coffee. I was trying to understand , poured coffee in my cup and went back to my chair. I sat in my chair and started reading the document. I felt like its something which is not English. I was trying to understand but my eyes are not supporting me. I finally closed the document and felt " Finally, This is what happens.(end up doing nothing)" .
I sat in my chair in a more relaxed way and bent my head back and looked at the clock "Its almost 2:00 AM and I haven't done anything yet. Let it be, I will try to get some time in office". There are a lot of questions going on in my mind at that time, which have no answers, which has been through many other people out there like me. " Is this what we always wanted to be?" "Is this the kind of life that we wanted to live? waking up late nights ?putting an end to enjoyment and trying to work for money sacrificing your satisfaction? But, there is no other choice, no one needs whether you are satisifed or not, the only thing that matters is whether you have done your work or not? This really reminds me of my school days where you are punished of not doing your home work. "
one thing now I really feel is " I wish someone comes in my life who encourages me, who boosts my confidence, who helps me and hold my hand together when I find that I am getting down. "the one who sow the seed of confidence and make my tree of life bloom with flowers of hope and fruits of success. I hope that day isn't far". I dont even know when I finally slept.
NOTE: This is just a part of it. I am going to continue it.
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